Hey Mama, are you preparing yourself for labor and delivery? You might be doing research about how painful labor and delivery really is, or maybe you are wondering how long the average labor and delivery takes? But have you ever stopped to think about the shocking, gross, and weird things about labor and delivery?
There are so many things about labor and delivery that new moms might not know, because somethings that happen in the hospital room during birth are just too bad to even tell your closest friends. 😫
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How I Learned About The Shocking Things About Labor And Delivery
During my first pregnancy, I was super nervous for going into labor, but I worried about the normal things that come to mind when you think about labor and delivery.
I was worried my water would break in public- like you see in all the movies.
I was worried about being able to handle the pain that labor and delivery has to offer.
But I never stopped to think about everything that happen in that horrible hospital room- the things that people don’t talk about or show on the movies.
I learned the hard way! The nurse would come into my hospital room and tell me to do something, and my jaw would drop in shock!
You want me to do what?!?
So I’m here to tell you all the shocking, gross, and weird things about labor and delivery, so you don’t have to find out the hard way!
Shocking, Gross, And Weird Things About Labor
1. You Might Not Know When You Are In Labor
It’s true! You could have contractions without actually being in labor. These contractions are called Braxton Hicks Contractions. So many moms have consistent contractions, so they think they are in labor, and head to the hospital, only to be sent back home because it was a false alarm.
2. Your Water Doesn’t Always Break
In every movie about pregnancy, the mom looks like she pees herself, and goes, “Oh no! I think my water just broke!”
This is not the case at all! Many times pregnant woman’s water does not even break at all. If your water does not break, they will break it when you arrive at the hospital.
Or, if your water does break, it could just slowly drip out. Having your water break, does not always mean there is going to be a big gush of water.
Regardless, make sure to have your hospital bags in the car, so you can be prepared for labor no matter where you are.
Fun Fact: Did you know some moms can actually hear their water pop. I did, and you can read my story here.
3. You Might Not Get A Room Right Away
When you first arrive at the hospital, the nurse will take you into triage to get you checked in. If you are at the beginning stages of labor, you might be waiting in triage for a very long time- hours even.
Even if your labor is speeding up pretty quickly, the hospital might just not have room for you right away.
Triage is an awkward place to be. All the hospital beds are super close together with only a curtain separating each bed. You can hear what every patient tells the nurses and doctors, which if you haven’t guessed by now, it can be pretty humorous as well.
What is even worse, is when someone is having intense contractions in triage, because you can hear every moan and groan someone makes.
4. No Eating or Drinking
For the last nine months, the joke has probably been that you are eating for two (even if you are really eating like your eating for five), regardless you have been eating a lot.
The hunger is real during pregnancy, and let’s not even mention all of the weird cravings, but then someone tells you, you are not allowed to eat or drink anything!
This is shocking news…how am I supposed to survive?!?
5. Your Va-Jay-Jay is Public Domain
Most pregnant moms think about delivering a baby with their legs open to the world, and think that this part is bad, but don’t forget how many times nurses and doctors will put their hands in your va-jay-jay during labor as well.
The nurses will have to check and see how dilated you are, they might need to break your way, they might need to check and see if your water broke, they could need to induce labor internally, etc. They will be up in your business your entire hospital stay, not just during the delivery part.
To add to this, it’s not always just a quick check either. Many times, they need to wait until you have a contraction, so they will just sit their having a conversation with you, with their hand up inside of you.
6. The Nurse Will Be Your Best Friend
Your nurse will be there the entire time, doing everything for you. This part of labor and delivery shocked me, because you would think that you would see the doctor more often, but up until actual delivery you only get help from a nurse.
Your nurse will be your best friend during labor, because she will have so much great advice for you (since she deals with this everyday). Seriously, labor and delivery nurses are life savers!!
7. If Not…You Can Get A New One
If you happen to get a mean nurse (because it does happen), you can always ask for a new nurse. Remember this is a very difficult and special time for you and your family, don’t feel bad if you want to speak up about something.
Everyone warns new moms to never expect labor and delivery to go the way you planned it to, and I agree with them to an extent. Sometimes medical needs get in the way, and you have to change your game plan. However, if there is not a medical reason for you to change something, then don’t. You deserve the very best, and if you are not getting it, then tell someone!
8. Peeing During Labor Is HARD
You might be thinking that peeing during labor is difficult because of the contractions, but you are wrong!
Peeing during labor is hard, because you have to unplug the IV and baby monitors and take all of the cords and IV pole with you.
It takes some great multitasking skills to complete this task. 😄
9. The Delivery Floor Sounds Like A Haunted House
Having a baby is painful! I have tried to explain to people what it really feels like to have a baby, but I just cannot come up with the words to explain how truly painful it is.
So you will just have to take my word on this, and see how painful it really is for yourself.
With that being said, moms are screaming at all hours of the day and night.
You can tell when a baby is born, because you will hear screaming for some time, then the screaming will get very loud, and all of a sudden it will stop. It really does sound like a haunted house or torture chamber.
If you hear a mom screaming from giving birth before you give birth yourself, it might just traumatize you.
10. You Could Vomit
As weird as it sounds, many mom vomit during labor. Puking is actually a good sign that your labor is speeding up and, your baby will be coming soon.
11. The Point Of No Return
During the beginning of labor, your contractions will just feel like very intense menstrual cramps. You will be able to talk through them, and you will have time in between contractions to breathe and relax. Your active labor could even stop for a little while, and you could have a few hours without any contractions at all.
As labor speeds up, you will hit, what I like to call, the point of no return. Now obviously, the day you conceived was the point of no return, but just hear me out.
The point of no return is when your contractions get so bad that you cannot talk through them, you feel like your hips are breaking, and your insides are ripping out. The contractions will be so close together that you will start to feel a contraction start before your last contraction has completely ended.
This is actually the worst part of labor and delivery, and can it can seem never ending, but once this starts, you will start dilating pretty quickly.
12. You Might Have To Wait Awhile For An Epidural
If you plan on getting an epidural, make sure to ask for it before you absolutely need it, because it can take some time for an anesthesiologist to get to your room and do the procedure.
Once they do get to your room, they have to set up all of their stuff, and they make you sign a consent form. It really does seem to take forever!
13. Epidurals Don’t Always Work
Surprise! That epidural that you wanted so badly might not even work, or it could just work on half of your body.
The epidural can start to wear of and stop working all together. Let me tell you, this is not fun at all.
With my second pregnancy, I got the epidural and it was AMAZING. Then all of a sudden, I could feel everything. This was almost worse than just fighting through all of the contractions, because I went from having zero pain to having the most intense pain I have ever felt, in the matter of seconds.
14. Or Epidurals Work Great!!
On the other hand, epidurals can also seem like a form of magic. When they do work, they make everything from your waist down numb.
During my second labor and delivery, I got an epidural and I couldn’t even move my legs (before it stopped working)! The doctor came in and broke my water, and I couldn’t feel a thing. My water broke and gushed all over my thighs, and I wouldn’t have even know if no one told me.
15. You Might Get A Catheter
If you get an epidural, you will definitely be getting a catheter, because you can’t stand up, therefore, you can’t go to the bathroom.
Even if you don’t get an epidural, if you have any other pregnancy complications, like Preeclampsia, or if you are a fall risk patient or on bed rest for any other reason, you will still have to get an epidural.
The good news, this part is really not as bad as it seems.
16. The Devil On Your Shoulder Might Win This One
Contractions are painful, and you might not be able to control what you are feeling or saying. There is a good chance that you could yell at your husband if he is not prepared for what to expect during labor and delivery. Make sure you both read: 12 Labor And Delivery Tips For Dad.
Or even worse, you could yell at a doctor or nurse, but they are used to it. Trust me, whatever you say to them, they have definitely dealt with worse before.
17. You Could Hyperventilate
Because labor puts so much stress on your body, you could easily hyperventilate and even pass if you do not control your breathing.
Shocking, Gross, And Weird Things About Delivery
18. It Will Feel Like You Are Going To Poop Yourself
When you reach 10 cm dilated, it will feel like you have to poop. You might have heard this before, and you might think you know what to expect.
However, I knew this fact before I went into labor, but I was still convinced I had to poop. When I told the nurse this, she told me it was probably time to push. I was so convinced she was wrong, because I thought it would at least feel a little bit different, but I was wrong.
19. Creepy And Scary Tools
When you get close to 10 cm, the nurse will start to get everything ready for delivery. They will pull out a table with a ton of big medal tools. Lets just say it looks like something out of a Frankenstein movie.
If you haven’t been nervous up until this point, seeing these creepy tools will be enough to get you a little freaked out.
20. Forget The Doctor
So if you are anything like me, you probably have a super awesome doctor, that you trust so much! But when delivery days come, they will not show up until the very last second, or they might not even show up at all.
Doctors are super busy (obviously). They will rush in, delivery your baby as fast as possible, and rush right back out the door. Sometimes your doctor might not make it at all, and another doctor will have to delivery your baby.
21. You Will Have An Audience
When it is time to push, your delivery room will fill up with people. A doctor, nurses, residents, and doctors for your baby will all be present.
The good new is, you have already shown off your goods to many nurses and doctors up until this point, so you will probably be used to it by now.
Plus you will be in so much pain, you will not care about anything else going on around you.
22. You Can Even Watch
Many hospitals have mirrors they can pull out if you want to watch your baby being born. Although this is actually super cool, I do not suggest watching! It’s a psychological thing, seeing what is happening down there will make it hurt 10x worse…I promise!
23. The Doctor Will Act Like It Is No Big Deal
Having a baby is such a big deal! Many moms spend 9 months having anxiety over this moment. But the doctors deal with childbirth every day of their lives, and they act so casual about the whole thing.
With my first delivery, my doctor came and sat at the end of my bed, and joked and laughed like we were having a conversation over a cup of coffee. Then I pushed a few times.
After just a few minutes, the doctor told me to keep pushing when I was having contractions, and both the doctor and the nurse left the room for awhile, leaving me to push this baby out by myself like it was no big deal. Don’t worry…she came back eventually.
To doctors, it’s just another day on the job!
24. You Might Poop…Gross!
You might actually be surprised at how normal it is for a mother to poop during her delivery. If you poop, it means you are using the right muscles and pushing the right way.
The nurse will clean it up and act like it never even happened. It’s really not a big deal at all. Don’t stress about his.
25. You Might Have To Hold Your Own Legs
Depending on who is in the delivery room with you, you might end up having to hold your own legs when you are pushing.
26. Pushing Could Take Hours
With my first delivery, I pushed for 45 minutes, and it felt like a lifetime.
Some of my nurses that I had after delivery were shocked to hear that I only pushed for 45 minutes. To my surprise, they told me that many first time moms push for hours and hours.
27. Or It Could Be Really Fast
There is really no telling how long you will be pushing for. If it’s your second child, you might not end up pushing for as long. I only pushed for 6 minutes with my second child.
28. Epidurals Do Not Work For The Pushing Part
Even if you get an epidural and it works great, you will still feel everything when it comes time to push. Your contractions might not be as strong, but you will still be able to feel the baby come out.
29. You Might Fall Asleep
Pushing a baby out is hard work, it is probably the hardest thing you will ever have to do. Not to mention this comes after hours or even days of having intense contractions. Some moms get so physically exhausted that they will fall asleep right after the baby is born, or even between pushes.
30. It Will Look Like A Murder Scene
Now you obviously know that there is blood involved with having a baby, but until you witness it, you have no idea how much blood there will actually be.
Blood will splash all over the place. A clean up crew will actually come into your room after you have your baby, and they will clean the entire room from top to bottom.
31. The Cut Heard Around The World
If you are unfortunate enough to have an episiotomy, I feel sorry for you. An episiotomy is when the doctor will cut you, to make it easier for the baby to come out.
32. They Might Vacuum Your Baby Out
If your baby’s heart rate drops during delivery, the doctor will actually vacuum the baby out to speed it up.
33. You Might Scream
You just might be one of those moms that screams when you give birth. It is just one of those things you cannot control.
Sorry, I am guilty of this one!
34. You Have To Go Through Delivery Twice
No, no it’s not another baby coming. Well, it might be if you are having twins. But after delivery, you will have to delivery the placenta. This isn’t hard, but if you get a chance to look at the placenta, do it. You will be shocked at how large it actually is.
35. It’s Not Over Once The Baby Is Born
Many moms have to get stitches, so just as you think it is finally over, your doctor will still be nose deep in your nether regions, stitching you up.
The good news is, at this point, you will probably be holding you baby, and you might not even realize the doctor is there anymore.
Shocking, Gross, And Weird Things About Your Postpartum Stay
36. You Might Not Be Able To Hold Your Baby Right Away
There are many reason you might not be able to hold you baby right away. The doctor might need to check your baby out before you can hold them. This can be very disappointing, but don’t worry, you will be able to get your hands on the little thing soon enough.
37. But If You Do…They Are Nasty
There is nothing in this world that is as great as the feeling you get when the doctor plops your baby down on your chest for the first time.
You will snuggle them and kiss them, and it will be the best moment of your life by far. But you will eventually realize that your baby is covered in vernix and it is all over you.
It is just disgusting!
38. Ugly Little Bundle Of Joy
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but newborns are ugly! You will probably think your own baby is the most adorable thing you have ever laid your eyes on, but most newborn babies look like aliens with weird shaped heads.
If you don’t realize this right away, you will notice it when you look back at pictures.
39. You Can’t Even Pee Alone
To recap…during labor nurses and doctors will be elbow deep inside of you, and during delivery they will be nose deep. So now you finally have your baby, and you are free from all nurses and doctors, right?
Your nurse will walk you to the bathroom the first time, and she will hover over top of you while you pee. She will even get on her hands and knees checking you out and helping you clean up.
40. You Will Get Your Own Personal Bidet
Wiping after birth can cause damage, so you will be given a nice little squirt bottle to spray on yourself to help clean up after using the bathroom.
41. Mom Diapers!
Postpartum pads are huge! When you are wearing one of these things, you will walk like you have just gotten off of a horse.
You will need to wear these pads for weeks after giving birth, because you are not allowed to use a tampon. Don’t forget to buy some for at home after having the baby.
42. Best Granny Panties Ever
Most hospitals will give you disposable underwear. They are stretchy so your postpartum pad will easily fit inside of it.
Some moms hate them, but I personally found them extremely helpful.
43. You Will Feel Like You Need 50 Showers
You will probably sweat a lot during labor and delivery. Then you will be covered in blood and fluids from giving birth.
One shower just will not cut it, you will feel super gross for days after giving birth.
Then once your milk comes in- milk will constantly be leaking all over you. You will feel disgusting days and even weeks after childbirth.
Bonus: Don’t forget your FREE breast pads here.
44. Everyone Will Touch Your Boobs
If you are breastfeeding, the nurses will help your baby latch and teach you about breastfeeding.
The nurses are such a big help, but it is kind of awkward when they start milking you like a cow.
Once you leave the hospital, if you need more help, check out this breastfeeding class you can take.
Or if you plan on pumping when you return to work, Milkology has a class for that too! How Helpful! And if you want more pumping tips check out: 15 Tips For Exclusively Pumping Breast Milk.
Bonus: Don’t forget your FREE nursing pillow here! Make sure to use the code PJBABY.
45. Contractions Are Not Over Yet
Contractions do not end when your baby is born. Your uterus has to shrink back down to its normal size, and you will have contractions when this is happening.
After your second baby, your uterus will shrink back down a lot faster, so the contractions will be even more painful.
46. The Nurse Will Juice Your Belly Like A Lemon
To check and make sure your uterus is shrinking back to its normal size, your nurse will come and push on your belly (they push very hard, I might add).
Don’t be surprised if this is painful.
47. Your Belly Will Be Ugly
There is no way around this one. You can get new stretch marks after birth, and your belly will be jiggly.
48. You Will Be Sore
You just used very muscle in your body to push a live human out! Don’t be shocked if you are super sore the following days.
49. Emotional Mess
During this time, your hormones will be changing, and having a baby can be very emotional. You might cry out of pain, frustration, or even happiness.
50. You Will Have To Announce When You Poop
Your nurse will want to make sure you have a bowel movement, and you won’t be allowed to leave the hospital until you do. Your nurse will keep asking you about it, so be prepared to make an announcement when you do poop!
51. The Nurses Are Noisy
Nurses are noisy- this is true, but just remember they are just doing their jobs. The will check in with you every couple hours, and ask when you baby ate, how much your baby ate, when they had a dirty diaper, and when they had a wet diaper.
Be prepared to keep track of all of this information. They will give you a piece of paper to keep track of it, but The MyMedela App is great for keeping track of all the information you need for your baby.
52. Your Butt Hole Will Be Examined
Your nurse will need to check and make sure you do not have hemorrhoids, so they will ask you to bend and spread before you can be discharged from the hospital.
It is definitely a weird feeling to have to do this.
53. Your Bladder Will Never Be The Same
After giving birth, you will have to pee all the time, and I hate to tell you but this feeling never goes away!!
I hope you enjoyed these 50+ shocking, gross, and weird things about labor and delivery.
What was something you thought was shocking, gross, or weird during your labor and delivery?