Having a baby ruins every marriage, right?? That’s what movies make it seem like anyways. Having kids doesn’t always have to be bad for marriages; kids can actually improve your marriage, and I will tell you exactly how this happens.
When my husband and I decided to try and get pregnant for the first I could barely hold back the excitement. I was bursting at the seams with happiness.
We had so many things to plan. I just couldn’t wait. Nothing could ruin these moments for me…NOTHING!
Then I thought…what will this do to my marriage?? I mean sure we argue from time to time, but he is my better half, and I couldn’t live without him. Having a baby adds a ton of stress to a household. Could this ruin us?
Warning: don’t think for even a minute that every second of marriage after kids is filled with rainbows and sunshine. There are so many new things you and partner could now disagree on.
Do you and your partner have the same parenting style, life goals, and expectations from being parents? If you said no to any of these, you could find yourself having a difficult time getting along after having kids, but it is still not impossible.
Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I have definitely had our moments, but I wouldn’t trade them for the world, because the good outweighs the bad by a great deal.
So let’s dive right into the 6 ways that having kids can actually improve your marriage.
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1. You Will Always Have Something To Talk About
You chose your partner out of everyone else on this planet, so I am sure you guys talk all the time, but what do you talk about?
When I took a step back and evaluated what my husband and I talked about before kids, I realized we either talked about HIS life or MY life, not OUR life.
Let me explain…my husband and I talked all the time before kids, but the majority of what we talked about was either his job, my job, his hobbies, or my hobbies. Even though we lived this happy life together, a big majority of our lives were lived separately.
Yes, we did things together like: spending time with family and friends, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, watching movies, etc. We did the normal things people do together.
But after we had kids, we NEVER ran out of things to talk about.
Your kids will constantly be doing adorable things, learning new things, and growing every day. This gives you endless topics for conversation starters with your partner. Not to mention all of the things you and partner need to talk about when it comes to everything that needs to be done for your kids.
2. Oh The Entertainment!
Now back to those kids doing adorable things all day long. You will have entertainment all day every day. Your family will have free entertainment to keep you busy ALL THE TIME!
One thing I have learned after having kids, you don’t need constant date nights to keep your relationship alive.
Just having one thing in common gives a relationship plenty of entertainment and things to do. You will be surprised at how long your family will be able to laugh about something your kids do.
3. Same Goals
Like I mentioned you and your partner will talk about your kids ALL THE TIME. You will talk about schedules, discipline, and everything about your kid’s future.
If you and your partner are on the same page for your kid’s future, you will be working towards to same goals every second of every day.
This will help you and your partner be able to build each other up, and keep each other going at all times. You guys will bond over having and raising kids, because it gives you something to conquer as a team.
4. Your Family Will Have A Schedule
Another way kids can improve your marriage is by getting your child on a schedule. Once you get your kids on a schedule, you will easily be able to tell when you and your partner can schedule alone time without the kids.
Just hear me out…before having kids, I had a work schedule and a school schedule. Everything in between was a free for all. Because of this, planning time with my husband was challenging sometimes.
Having kids has turned me into a planner. I have a plan for everything! Both of my children have been on daily schedule from the age of two months, and we rarely veer away from it.
Having a schedule for the kids and housework makes it very easy to tell when we have free time. This makes it a lot easier to plan time together.
5. You Won’t Argue With Innocent Ears Around
Before you have kids, you and your partner could disagree about something, and you could focus on that issue right away.
You could talk about it or even yell about it. Without kids, you don’t have anyone watching you, so anything is possible.
When my husband and I had kids, we made an agreement to NEVER argue in front of them. Disagreeing is just part of a marriage; it’s bound to happen. But we agreed the kids didn’t need to witness this.
If something irritates us, we wait until the kids are sleeping to discuss it. This is one of the best things we have ever done.
By the time the kids are sleeping, we have completely forgot about we were disagreeing about. This has taught me that our arguments were very minuscule.
This method will teach you to let the little things go and improve your marriage.
6. You Will Fall In Love All Over Again
You might think you couldn’t love your partner anymore than you do right now (before you have kids), but this is completely false!
When you see the look in your partner’s eyes the first time they hold your little bundle of joy, you will fall in love with them all over again.
You will then think that you could not love this person anymore, and let me tell you- you will be wrong again!
You will fall in love again every time your partner gives your little one cuddles, calms them down in the middle of the night, teaches them something new, gets on the floor and play with them, handles a meltdown, and every single time he kisses your baby and tells them he loves them.
There is nothing more attraction than a man being an amazing dad!
Having kids has opened my eyes to the reasons I love my husband, and how much love I actually have for him. This can improve your marriage too!
Having kids doesn’t have to ruin a marriage like in all the movies and TV shows. Babies are little miracles, they bring so much happiness and laughter to parents lives.
The stress and chaos of having kids does not have to drive relationships apart. However, the joy and fun that kids bring into life can definitely be used to bring a relationships closer together.
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Our favorite book on marriage with kids- To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First.